she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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