? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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