Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
