It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
