dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
