So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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