This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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