Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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