Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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