My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
