I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
