I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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