wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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