i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
