Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
