Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
