I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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