Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize