My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
