so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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