do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
