so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
