Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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