no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
