i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize