kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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