I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
