Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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