I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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