I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
