the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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