We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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