hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
