Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
