arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize