I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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