Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
