oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
