I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Pooping to opera.
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