I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
