chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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