from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Randomize
