why didn't you poke me back
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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