So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
