lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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