you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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