He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
