Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
