Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
