The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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