Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
