You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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