playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
