Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
