Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize