Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
