oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
