i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
