Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
