You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
